I am always skeptical about claims that hilariously funny quotes are actually real, but one should not underestimate the human mind. The following are supposedly actual quotes from performance evaluations. Might come in handy when I have to do them again next year...

•    "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

•      "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

•      "I would not allow this employee to breed."

•      "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."

•      "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

•      "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was  previously in there."

•      "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

•      "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

•      "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

•      "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

•      "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."